May 15, 2008

Rebuttal

Ok so since I just posted two of my most unflattering pictures to show my weight gain, It has since pissed me off enough to want to put some of my better ones up. I lasted a whole what, 7 hours before I just couldn’t take it. Being bold enough to put two of my worst gives me permission to put some of my best. Also, that totally makes me look like an alchy since in both pics I have a cup in my hand. Even though the PIna Colada looks like milk and the Captain Morgan looks like flat soda. BLah. Here goes..

 

AU NATURAL

May 14, 2008

Fat as I am.

I’m a normal female. Some days I look in the mirror and KNOW that I’m fabulous and others I stare at myself picking apart every flaw. It’s been two years now since I had my daughter. I gained 40 pounds with her, a big reason being that the doctor had me on bedrest for a short time and doing anything too strenous was pretty painful. I had a miscarraige a year before that I was terrified of having another one so my excitement for water aerobics and light excerisize flew out the window. The first two weeks after I had Bri I lost 20 pounds. So boom, halfway there. From there, I can not tell you what the fuck happened. I am now back at the weight I was when I was 8 months pregnant with her! Now isn’t that some shit!? I mean, I’m assuming I just sat back and said hey this is easy and the 20 lbs slowyly crept back on me, but it’s just getting rediculous and I only have myself to blame. I havent given up any of my old habits. I won’t accept that I once was able to eat Mickey D’s like three times a week because I was on the run between school work and going out every night but that I can’t anymore. My body won’t allow it. And even if it did, I’m not doing all of those things anymore. I go to school twice a week, I do all of my writing from home, I’m not working at my school for the summer so there goes that, and I babysit in my house. I used to go out dancing all the time, now I drink at home with friends and go out here and there when I have the energy or the money. But now, summer 2008 is not even around the corner anymore, it’s ringing my doorbell, and I have to answer. So, right here and now I am going to make a change. I am not going to sit here and write that I’m going to go on a strict diet and join the gym and all of these other things that I know I am not disiplined enough to commit to right now. I’m going to do small things that lead to medium things that will lead to big things.. and I will keep you updated on how I do..

A few things I have in mind… for me its not about being scared of change, its about easing my way into it…

1. drink wayyyyyy more water

2.Have an itinerary for days that I’m home with the mini me so theres not a second I find myself sitting down with nothing to do.

3. Do not have a drink in my hand if I’m not shaking my ass along with it (hey at least Im burning what im putting in)

4. sit ups every night!

5.Seriously think about waking up at 6 in the morning and going running/walking really fast before the BD has to be to work.

6. DId I mention more water?

 

And here are some things I have noticed in my days of being “fat”

-Always have jeans in your wardrobe that aren’t stretch. They are the jeans that will let you know you are gaining. I swear I blame my three stretch skinny jeans for at least 10 pounds, they are your frenemy!

-Office jobs make me hungry and since I’m just sitting there, no energy is burned

-When you are used to eating whenever you get the chance and then you have a child that HAS to eat three meals a day, you often eat when you’re not hungry (hey I admitted I’m not disiplined!)

-When you live with a chef you are at a HIGH RISK of gaining weight. For one, they can actually cook so you like eating. Also they use lots of flavor and we all know flavor is usually going to equal fattening!

-Okay I’m Italian, the BD is Dominican. What does that tell you????? RICE AND PASTA, people! Oh boy am I fucked.

-When you aren’t fat you can be sexy, cute, beautiful, etc… when you’re fat it usually goes down to cute.. I still get beautiful but sexy has gone down.. damn gut!

 

ON A SIDE NOTE: I was never ever skinny. I was always thick. Big hips and thighs. But I had a cute tummy. I could rock the shirts that rose up a lil as I walked and it was cute enough to not have to pull the shirt down every two minutes. I honestly just have major issues with the belly and arms. The belly just needs to go away and tighten and the arms are so big from carrying a 30 lb baby plus 10 lbs stroller up and down lets see, 12 flights of stairs every day (yes 12! I just counted all of the stairs from the Castle Hill stop on the 6 train to the 57th street N R and W station) so yea my arms need to shrink and tighten as well.  ALSO.. I don’t HATE the way I look. I think I have pulled off being chubby pretty good. I still get the dudes trying to talk to me and everything, but I just can’t do it anymore. GOODBYE 40 POUNDS. I WON’T MISS YOU AT ALL!!

BEFORE BRIANA:

DURING BRIANA:

AFTER BRI:

(I left them big so I dont accidently shrink myself into how I wish I looked hehe)

May 13, 2008

For Tasha.

My friend told me about this last week and it just bothers me. Being into criminal justice I often become fixed on certain cases, and this one hit hard considering it was so close to home in VA. I didn’t know this girl, but now I know her story and it has left a spot in my heart..

From Free Lance Star

Date published: 5/7/2008

By Ellen Biltz

Stephanie Thomas couldn’t make it to her sister’s trailer Monday night when Latasha Nicole Thomas called for help.

But today, she spent the morning at the trailer where her sister died, picking up the pieces of memorabilia that she will have to remember her by. Stephanie Thomas, 21, said her 23-year-old sister, who prefers to go by Tasha, was “a very goodhearted person, would do anything for anyone and kept a smile of sunshine.”

Tasha Thomas died Monday night when her boyfriend, Aaron Poseidon Jackson, 24, shot her in the head with an AK-47. Jackson also shot to death the couple’s two children, Aaron Neptune Jackson and Nicole Aaron Jackson, 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 years old.

The shooting happened about 9:20 p.m. in the family’s trailer on Walt Way in Falmouth.

Stephanie Thomas today said that her sister and Jackson just recently started going through turmoil in their relationship, but she never expected abuse before Monday.

Monday afternoon, she said, her sister called to say she’d been pushed by Jackson into a Kerosene heater. That was just hours before the shooting. Though Tasha Thomas had left the relationship before, Stephanie said Jackson hadn’t reacted so strongly.

“The first time she left, he dealt with it,” she said. “He just recently got abusive.”

The younger sister also said she is shocked that Jackson could hurt his children because he always loved them.

“I’m not going to put down the type of father Aaron was,” she said. She said she believes the murders-suicide ultimately took place because Jackson wanted to be able to date other women, along with Tasha Thomas, but the woman told him she was moving out with the children.

 

Stephanie Thomas wrote on a piece of paper today, “The kids always were taken care of and would bring happiness to anyone. I love you all Jr., Nicole, and Latasha. I’ll see you in heaven.”

From WUSA9.com

STAFFORD COUNTY, Va. (WUSA) - Investigators say 23 year old Latasha Thomas called a relative twice on Monday-asking for a ride to get away from her abusive boyfriend.

She arrived at the couple’s trailer in the Walt Lou Mobile Home Park too late to save her or her babies.

“Neighbors told her they heard gunshots about ten minutes before she got there,” Sheriff Charles Jett said.

Officers forced their way inside and found Thomas and 24 year old Aaron Jackson–the children’s father dead on the couch. Their kids-two year old Nicole Jackson–and her one year old brother Aaron–were in their cribs with critical
gunshot wounds to the head. Investigators say Jackson killed his family and then himself.

“Absolutely horrific, anytime a child’s involved.
But to have a scene of this magnitude is unspeakable.”

Richard Atchley manages the Walt Lou Mobile home Park where the couple had lived with their children for about six months.

He said there was never a hint of trouble.
until Monday, when Thomas asked to break her lease.

“I said you probably can. And she said she was going to move back to Alexandria with her family, and that’s the last time I talked to her,” Atchley said.

These murders bring the number of homicides in Stafford County this year to five. Four of the victims were children.

“This time, a family member reached out. Unfortunately, it was just too late,” Sheriff
Jett said.

A woman named Ashley Price showed up at the trailer park saying she had spent the entire weekend with Aaron Jackson in a romantic relationship. She says he called her hours before the shooting and was drunk.

A relative says the family has no money to bury “Tasha” or her babies.

Latasha Thomas Memorial Fund:
The money will be used to cover funeral expenses for Latasha and her children who hand no life insurance.

This is her Obituary:

La Tasha Nicole Thomas
 
Born: April 07, 1985
Died: May 05, 2008

La Tasha Nicole Thomas, 23, of Fredericksburg died, Monday May 5, 2008 at her residence. She was born April 7, 1985 in Charlottesville to Stoney Thomas and Edie Samuel Thomas.She enjoyed drawing, shopping especially for shoes, doing hair, going to Brocks and Grandpa Groovy’s. LaTasha had a big heart for children and enjoyed teaching at Almost Home. Above all else was the love for her two children.

She was followed in death by her daughter Nicole Erin Jackson, and her son Aaron Neptune Jackson, Jr..

In addition to her parents, she is survived by her sister, Stephanie Marie Thomas of Catlett, one niece, and numerous cousins, aunts, uncles, family and friends.

A funeral service will be held on Saturday May 10, 2008 at 2 p.m. at Culpeper Baptist Church, 318 West Street, Culpeper with Rev. Floyd Harlson officiating. A visitation will be held one hour prior to the service.

Interment will follow in Hollywood Cemetery.

Pallbearers will be Kelly Wright, Shawn Wright, George Wright, Charles Gant and Wallace Davis.

Memorial contributions may be made to the Memorial Fund for Tasha Thomas & Kids c/o Navy Federal Credit Union, acct # 3014062867, P.O. Box 3000 Merrifield, VA 22119-3000.

An online guestbook is available at www.foundandsons.com

Found and Sons Funeral Chapel of Culpeper is handling the arrangements.


Watch the report:

http://www.wusa9.com/video/player.aspx?aid=59887&sid=71387&bw=

May 13, 2008

The Mini Me

So my mini me is only two and today I had my first “parent teacher conference”. It’s hilarious but as her teacher sat there telling me all of the things she’s been doing in class and how much she’s learned I wanted to cry! My baby is growing up! She’s so motherly, she loves her dolls. Her babies are the only thing that will make her stop crying; when I tell her that her baby is crying she stops what she’s doing to go comfort her doll. And her teacher told me she loves giving the real babies in her class toys to play with. She loves to draw and color and has been drawing straight lines. haha. So cute. So most likely next year semester she will be moving up into the next age group classroom. I love this little girl.

 

May 11, 2008

Thank You.

So I just noticed Stephanie Klein posted something like this on a myspace bulletin and I was inspired… mine might be a little different considering the past with my mother, but I love her just as much..

Thank you for always being interested in anything I had to say

For making those little paper trophys any time I got a good grade in Elementary School

For driving miles to pick me up from friends houses or to friends houses, even picking them up when their moms and dads didn’t feel like it

For staying up late to pick me up from the skating rink

For letting me negotiate with you to buy me a shirt or some shoes saying that it would be part of my Christmas or Birthday or whatever holiday was closest present, yet still getting me something fabulous when the day came

For giving me my crafty side

For giving me a good head on my shoulders

For being a real mom.. the trips to the park, playing barbies hours on end while i kept saying five more minutes….home cooked meals

For putting me in gymnastics and letting me try horseback riding lessons (even though I am terrified of them now haha) and letting me do after school activities

For all of the trips to the mall

For being a cool mom without ever trying to be like me and my friends

For being naive at times and allowing me to make some of the biggest mistakes ever, allowing me to see the real world early

For showing me that moms do cry

For allowing me to move back to New York and start over and understanding that it was best for both of us

For still caring about me and what I’m doing with my life even after all of the drama

For giving me something to analyze, reason to love my daughter as much as you loved me, and reason to try to be the best mom I can be!

 

May 11, 2008

My Day.

Happy Mothers Day

To Me!

Honestly I would trade in all the Mothers Day wishes, the cards, the flowers, for a passing grade in my math class. My final is Friday and I basically have until then to learn the entire class. You see, I took this class back in 2004 and failed. I failed then because I was the freshmen that didn’t try hard enough. Now its 2008 and I’m the mother finishing her bachelors and I’m even worse at this shit. I mean, it looks like chinese to me. I mean, I just sit there and stare at the board, not believing that we really ever did any of this in high school. And I won’t lie, I could have gone to tutoring. I could have spent more time. But being the procrastinator that I am, I didn’t. And now I’m counting on pure luck and  little bit of studying to get me through this. So pray to the math gods that they celebrate Mothers Day too and that will be my gift to me.

What am I doing, you say?

Well the BD (it stands for baby daddy. Not that he is just my baby daddy, but I got that term from my friend calling his baby mama BM and I happened to like it) is at work today. He gets off early, but it gives me enough time to finish my second paper and study a bit. If I have time I can also work on some questions for Sean Kingston for Tuesday. He offered me the money to go get the hair done and get the pedicure I’ve been needing badly after doing them myself all winter, but I know the salons are packed right now and I’m not dealing with that and a two year old. I thought about letting the mini me get a pedi too, but her feet won’t reach the tub from the seat, and who knows what her reaction will be. haha. But I can’t wait for mommy and daughter mani pedis.

So, Happy Mothers Day to all the moms, grandmas, great grandmas and even aunts and best friends who are more like aunts because you all deserve some mama credit!

And of course I must thank my mini me for making this day possible! haha

 

May 10, 2008

2 up 2 down

Everyone who knows me knows that I rep VA just as much as I rep NY. When an artist you love is from your state, you automatically want the best for them. I might be from Northern Va but its all love all over 2 up 2 down (after all Virginia is for lovers). So check out an interview with Pharrell with Port Folio Weekly. Much love Pharrell!  

Issue Date: Tuesday, May 6, 2008, Posted On: 5/6/2008

“Virginia Made Me”

 
Hannah Serrano

An Exclusive Interview with Native Son Turned Musical Icon Pharrell WilliamsAny young person in America can tell you how important Pharrell Williams is to the music that defines his generation. Most locals can tell you who he is (producer, artist, and skateboarder that helped put this area on the map), where he’s from (Princess Anne High, The Neptunes, N.E.R.D.) and what he does (pretty much everything). But what does Pharrell really think of Hollywood, finding happiness, and his beloved but flawed hometown? Read on and find out.

 

 

Seeing Sounds, the title of the new album, refers to synesthesia—a condition which, as a writer, I’ve been fascinated with for a long time. What is it about that phenomenon that inspired you? And how is that manifested in the music?

Well, we wanted to bring to people’s attention that more people are synesthetes than they think. I mean, think about it: There are a lot of people who have this tendency—sometimes we call it a condition, but it’s basically a tendency—to have extra information distributed throughout the brain and not just what is usually intended—as in what you hear sending electric impulses to the auditorial department of your brain, and also sending them to the visual part, so that you see colors when you hear it. A lot of people do that.

 

With “Everyone Nose,” the first single off the album, you seem to be hinting at the cataclysmic nature of fame for certain young girls in Hollywood. But you three are young, celebrated people yourselves, who are not far removed from that lifestyle. How can you stay grounded?

 

Is it just Hollywood? Or is it America? Everywhere you go, wherever there’s, like, a wild party scene, that’s what’s going on. And basically, that song was a social observation—we’re not condoning or judging. We’re just kind of saying, ‘Hey, America, this is what’s going on in your nightlife, across the country.’ Really around the world, but mainly we’re talking to America. And not pointing the finger, just kind of doing what the news does sometimes, which is to say, ‘Hey, this is what’s happening.’

To answer your question, no, we’re not far removed from any of it. I mean, we see it. So that would mean we’ve been around it. It’s not necessarily my thing, but at the end of the day, a reporter’s job and a journalist’s job is to bring light to something that most people should know. And that’s kind of like the position that we took. A nonjudgmental report.

 

In thinking about this area—and I grew up in Virginia Beach also—

 

What part?

Ocean Lakes.

 

Oh, yeah? I know that area.

 

Yeah? Actually, I was going to bring up the fact that in this small town, everybody has some way that they feel connected to you guys. And that makes you seem really

real

, but at the same time it creates a legendary quality about you. Do you have those same complexities in the way you think about your hometown?

 

I mean, to me there’s no better feeling than when you go home and people are proud of the work that you do and how you represent them. I’m always throwing the Star Trak [symbol] up, and of course you know there’s a V in that sign. It’s always been secretly an ode to home.

 

You still think of it as home?

Yeah. Yeah, Virginia made me.

 

Virginia does produce so many creative, talented people and yet can’t seem to keep them around, or develop an environment that entices them to stay. Why do you think that is?

That’s a whole other conversation. That conversation has to do with the fact that, you know, they shut down a lot of nightlife when it becomes a little too urbanized. And if I wasn’t careful, I probably would’ve said ‘a little too ethnic.’ But I’ll say ‘a little too urbanized,’ because urban happens to be multi-cultural. But when it becomes a little too urbanized, it gets shut down for whatever mysterious reason. And I’m not sure if the powers that be realize that that urban mentality, that urban nightlife scene—it’s everywhere; it’s in the bigger cities.

It’s funny, when someone huge like Bono is out somewhere at some event, he wants to hear Jay-Z. And sometimes when I come home, it’s like somebody will open up a spot—and I’m not really a club-goer, but my friends will come back and tell me, “Listen, this place is cool. It’s super multi-cultural. Very eclectic in the music.’ And then I hear a year later it gets shut down because of too much activity. To me, there’s not a lot of outlets, nightlife-wise.

And then you may have to consider the population. The population isn’t as big, and [maybe] that’s the reason why there aren’t tons and tons and tons of skyscrapers and huge, huge, huge business. Because maybe the population itself just cannot support that. I mean, I don’t study demographics that much. But it seems to be a huge equation, and there are definitely some question marks in my understanding of it….

But I gotta say that, you know, I also live in Miami because if I ever wanted the nightlife, it’s there. I don’t want it; I’m not interested in it, I mean at this point it’s kind of like I’ve been there, done that. But I think people move away because they want more action. And it seems like you can’t really have the action that you want in peace, because the minute something gets going and it’s fun, it gets shut down.

Now, is there violence that happens at these places? Is that the usual case and scenario? Yeah, there’s usually violence. But that violence, to me, is a whole other byproduct of a whole other issue that I think the Tidewater area has. There’s a lot of energy in those kids; those kids are very inspired. And if you don’t take inspired energy and direct it in the right places, it will soon turn into something that deteriorates within itself and implodes and causes a serious problem.

So, yeah, that’s my opinion, and I could be wrong. And the critics may be upset by that, but that’s my take on it, that’s what I think. I feel like there should be more creative outlets. I feel like there should be more stress- and steam-releasing outlets, otherwise known as uh… “nightlife.” I think it could be much more fun, and I think people wouldn’t move.

That’s been the way I’ve seen it. I think people who make money—when they get discouraged and they leave—they leave for that reason.

For me, I love Virginia regardless of what it is or what it isn’t, what it could be or what it will or will not be. I love it because it’s what made me, and I love those people; they’re good people. At the end of the day, they’re good people.

And we just, as Virginians, deserve a chance to do what everybody else does. We don’t have a team, like a professional basketball team. And again, maybe, like I said, the population doesn’t support it; maybe the numbers don’t work out. But I just think that as Virginians we deserve some of the experiences that some of the other bigger cities have.

Do you agree with what I said?

 

I do. Actually, it’s why I do what I do, why I write for

Port Folio

—because I feel it is one of those voices and one of those outlets. I mean, that doesn’t speak to the fact that, yes, businesses have a rough time staying open, particularly if they’re perceived in a way that doesn’t please “the powers that be.” Yeah, I totally agree with you on that.

Well, that’s the thing. If you are a fast learner, you realize when you’re not getting anywhere. I realized that in collaborating, I was able to grow. And you know what? I gotta tell you the best benefit of collaborating: learning. You wouldn’t need to collaborate if you knew it all. That’s been a wonderful thing for me.

 

And you’ve grown to huge acclaim doing so. Yet still N.E.R.D. is thought of as a credible band with indie sensibilities; you just played SXSW, and you’re touring in support of other acts rather than headlining your own. Is that by design?

It’s been fun being like a niche band—selling 2 million worldwide on the first [album], selling close to 2 million on the second, and on the third, having the powers that be actually embrace your music. We just leaked it online; we haven’t even gone to radio with the record yet.

I think it’s more fun that way. Of course you can do something and blow it out and make it more pop and more accessible and more commercial. But why not keep it 100 percent real and gritty and angst-driven as you want it to be, and see your fans appreciate it? They’re gonna buy it, they’ll take care of you, you’ll be fine—you don’t have to be the biggest thing in the world.

But it’s funny the synergy on this record here…it sounds like it’s gonna be a little bigger. But who knows? We try to keep it as niche as possible. We want to grow, but I guess, you know, my thing is credibility. Sometimes, I do it to my own detriment.

 

How do you mean?

Because I’m always wanting it to be perfect and right, before it blows up and becomes whatever. Because once it blows up, you can’t stop it. And if you don’t like it, you can’t turn it around.

 

With that grittier, more frenetic sound, N.E.R.D. seems like an outlet for you to defy the slicker, trademark “Neptunes Sound.” Is that a deliberate aim?

Well, N.E.R.D. is who we are. The Neptunes is our job, and it’s what was paying the bills when we were trying to get a deal as N.E.R.D. We work really, really, really hard as the Neptunes to be super versatile. I mean, if you look at what we just did with Madonna—when the Madonna album comes out, check that out; it’s pretty crazy—and even Common…there’s a lot of other things that we’ve done, and we do what we can. But man, it’s just a different kind of feeling when you do N.E.R.D.

N.E.R.D. is a representation of who we are; that’s like looking in the mirror [for us].

When we’re working on other projects, we’re like the crayons in someone else’s coloring book. When we’re working on N.E.R.D., that’s our own coloring book, and our crayons.

 

Talk about seeing sounds, right?

[Laughs] Pun intended.

 

You must be stoked then, performing as N.E.R.D. at our biggest hometown venue.

No, no, we are so excited, it’s not even funny.

The most important thing for us, at the end of the day, is the ticket—if people walk away going, “Oh my God, I was just there for an hour and a half, and I don’t know what the hell just happened to me. The energy… I am so tired, my clothes are soaked, and the music was incredible. But more importantly, my experience is second to none.”

 

When you were growing up out here, skating and playing in the marching band, what key experiences did that for you?

I mean, skating changed my life, the marching band changed my life, and the Old Donation Center for the Gifted and Talented changed my life. Because in all three, I got a different form of very serious discipline.

If you weren’t decent at skating, it’s not like your friends would stop hanging out with you, but they definitely wouldn’t skate with you no more. If you did not have very serious academic discipline, you could not stay in the jazz program that I was in at Old Donation. If you were not serious and diligent about your concentration and totally being at one with your drumline, you were not gonna be in the marching band.

All those things made me who I am.

And of course, without all the diverse friends I had, all the different archetypes that I needed as a child, and the influences that gave me my eclectic, musical background—I wouldn’t be what I was. I wouldn’t be what I am; I would not have lived the way I did; and what I was as a child would not have led me to where I am today. At all. It just wouldn’t be the same.

And then, you know, of course, Teddy Riley basically spinning the little globe and pointing his finger on Virginia Beach Boulevard, a five-minute walk from my high school, that didn’t hurt either.

 

The distinct combination of suburban skate culture and urban hip-hop culture which you have come to epitomize is also, I think, one of the defining characteristics of the diverse youth culture in this area.

Yeah, definitely. I have friends that totally, totally, totally only listen to New Wave and progressive music. But then, you gotta understand that at the height of grunge music, A Tribe Called Quest’s “Award Tour” was one of the biggest records at that time and at its height. So was Death Row.

While all of that was going on, all of my friends at school—they listened to the same thing. I had all kinds of friends, I have to say that. I gotta be completely honest and tell you: Your child is lying if he’s telling you he’s in high school and he doesn’t have friends who sell drugs, doesn’t have friends who skate, doesn’t have friends who were in a band, doesn’t have friends who were just into any and everything. And I gotta tell you, the hustlers back home in Virginia—even the hoodest of the hood—they knew “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” You know what I mean? And the skaters, they knew EPMD. That’s just the way it was.

That’s what makes Virginia so special; everybody’s pretty much eclectic. When I was in junior high school, some of the kids were listening to Megadeath and Iron Maiden and all that. But those guys knew who Eric B. & Rakim were. Don’t believe anybody that tells you anything different—it’s not true. It’s not true at all.

But I think it is true of a lot of secondary markets. You don’t get to see as much as you do in the bigger cities. So you appreciate what it is you see on TV; you appreciate what you see happening before your eyes in a different area; when skating takes off, you appreciate it; and you’re probably much better than the kids in the mainstream markets because you want it that bad. I mean, think about it, you know? A lot of the illest skaters come from secondary markets.

Plus, there’s the big fish in the small pond phenomenon; an artist whose work drowns in a deluge of other art in New York or San Francisco can rise to the top of a smaller market like ours, don’t you think?

Yeah, I mean, I gotta tell you, all those things are very influential elements that go into making who you are and who you end up being in life. I’m so thankful that Virginia was the way it was. I’m so thankful that we were deprived in the ways we were, because it made us work harder. And that’s why all the athletes that come from Virginia—they’re much better, I’m sorry. And the musicians—look at Timbaland, look at the span of his career. He is brilliant, in my opinion. Missy—she’s brilliant. Bruce Hornsby came from Virginia. These people are great. They’re great at what they do.

It’s a wonderful thing. I think Virginia makes people who work harder, and we appreciate it. There’s something to be said about that.

And maybe if we had access to everything all the bigger cities have, we may not have been that. And maybe that is the one little thing that you might not like, but you know what, when it comes to artists—we work harder because we know what it’s like to come from a modest environment where you don’t have everything at your fingertips.

 

Now that you do, and now that you’ve been able to apply your creativity to so many other ventures with great success, what’s next?

I’ve been blessed to be able to dabble in a couple of things. And there are a bunch of things always coming up.

But we are just happy to be in the game, in the position that we’re in. We just want to continue to try to be somewhat of a decent inspiration. We’re not always perfect. You know, I definitely say a couple things on the mic when I’m onstage that I probably shouldn’t be saying, like just profane things. I’m not perfect, and I’m definitely not a role model. But I do want to continue to be somewhat of an inspiration to other Virginians—like, “Listen, you can go out and get it and bring it back home.” You know?

 

What is out there still that you know you want to do, that you have yet to conquer?

I don’t know. I don’t know—I’m happy, and I’m very thankful. I have no idea. All I know is the Seeing Sounds album comes out on June 10, and it is the most important thing. I totally appreciate them but among all the other things, N.E.R.D. is the world to me. I never knew that it would turn out to be so fun and so fulfilling.

It’s interesting when we come across writers like yourself, who are aware of synesthesia and contemplate it; its origin and its effect on the human populus. It’s amazing. It’s the greatest thing ever. And it’s interviews like this that make it so great.

 

Wow, thank you. That means a lot coming from someone who has accomplished all that you have, coming out of this modest environment that we share.

Had you ever thought—growing up in Virginia Beach, going to public high school, just like me or like any of us, simply trying to do something creative—that you’d come this far, or learn and accomplish this much? Or that it’s even possible to inspire so many others to try to do the same?

Never in a million years.

But we have to change that perception. I’m not sure that enough money is put into our school system to promote that. And it seems like it would just be such a simple thing. But I think it starts with our teachers—our teachers need to be paid more. And the curriculum definitely needs to be updated, and we should probably start evaluating our kids from kindergarten, through Northern Linguistic Programming (NLP) to see if the kid is an auditory learner, a visual learner, a kinesthetic learner. Because often times when a kid doesn’t pass the profiling tests to understand whether they learn a certain way, there are no other options.

It starts there. And then—and then—once we identify how to really teach our kids and try in many ways to connect with them, and the teachers are being paid more—then it’s a cohesive environment. Everything is conducive, and it’s just naturally a breeding place for happy kids, who have a purpose.

And when you feel like you have a purpose, then you know you can do any and everything, and you can be unstoppable. That’s when you can ask a kid that question, and he won’t say, ‘Never in a million years,’ he’ll say, ‘Yeah, every day.’

 

 

 

 

 

May 10, 2008

Him.

Is it weird I feel a connection with a dead man I never met? I mean, it might be strange, but music has the power to do that. And I dont mean some of these artists that just sing some shit that was written for them or a rapper who has ghostwriters. I mean come on, if you are a fan of Pac, you KNOW him.

I loved Pac. I always have and always will. So many nights I cried, not knowing what was going to happen to my life, and I’d stare up at his poster on my wall. I always knew what song he would put on for me at that moment and I’d feel comfort. Because of him I’d keep my head up, I wasn’t afraid to show my emotions and I realized that just because a guy was raised cold doesnt mean he has to be cold hearted, and I didn’t have to deal with that. He was that big brother figure that I know I’d want to give it up to so bad, but scared to lose his respect. He was just so real and just did not care and times that I find myself caring too much about what people say I just wish he was here to tell me “Nicole fuck that! Fuck them!” and I’d nod my head in agreement. I just know in my heart if I knew him we would have connected. Perhaps its meant to be this way. Coming from a Black Panther mother who knows if he would have admitted to himself he was fallin for a pretty ass white girl haha. But it’s okay, I know you see me Pac. And I know you smilin down on me. And I KNOW that if we had have met, you would have wrote a poem about me and not Jada Pinkett! haha

 

xoxox

May 8, 2008

My Story.

So this girl; her life was never anything less than complicated. So her love life, of course, was bound to be crazy.

Fast forward to a guy she meets at a time when she was on an independence high. She smoked so much independence and got so high off of it, she refused to admit how hard she was falling for this dude. She feels herself in so many sides of him. She wants to heal so many parts of him. He is just as stubborn as her. They battle each other for years until one day they make a baby.

She, surprisingly more willing to become the family their daughter deserves. Him, more relunctunt. For them boundaries had never been set. Respect had never been followed. So it was utter chaos. She began to like it. He began to want normalcy.

By then she already found a love. A soldier. He loved her unconditionally and was willing to give her everything the other man would not. The love made her feel warm inside. But he was far, fighting a war while she fought her own war at home. It became too complicated until it seemed to cancel itself out. Time passes but that heat can still be felt anytime she thinks about him.

Infatuation hits again with a friend. This time its a nice boy, one who she knows deserves better than to deal with baggage. He says he can handle it, she knows he shouldn’t have to. She lets him go. She hopes he understands.

All along there has been a friend. A good friend. A friend who would be able to write her biography he know so much about her. He has always told her he has loved her, even before her age had the word “teen” in it. They always wanted each other, but never at the same time. He married, he also had a child, but a love for a friend never dies. It can live forever and never be acted on, but one night they felt it at the same time. For a moment it felt right. But they both knew it was far too complicated. It’s still there, but they have an understanding.

It is funny how the others have big meaning and this next guy seems like he should be too insignificant to mention, but somehow he is not. He took her out. He flirted. He made her feel like that independent girl again, but this time a woman. He had his own complication. He made her feel lovely without feeling worshipped. She was beginning to feel fresh air.

Suddenly everything comes to a screeching hault. The man, he wants to work things out. He realizes the existence of these men and wants to be a normal family. A woman who respects, a man who comes home more. He is ready, she does not know. His jealousy that once never existed becomes annoying. But unlike before she can speak on it and he tries to change. It becomes more complex.

Most woman are not like men. They do not cheat for pleasure. They cheat because they are ready for change. They are almost ready to say goodbye. She was on her way out the door when his love grabbed her and brought her back inside. It’s now up to her to decide whether or not she wants to stay.

May 7, 2008

Give this man some credit!

And today’s credit of the “whenever I feel like posting the whole credit concept” is…….

 

DRUMROLE……..

 

The one and only.. Weezy F Baby

You see, I was a listener of Lil Wayne long before the days of Carter mixtapes and making guys finally admit that eating pussy is an awesome thing. But of course a big reason for that was because I was living close to the equator i.e “the south.” And I will not hate on those of you who just now hopped on the big giant Weezy penis, you all are a part of his legacy.

In the rap game, you usually get one chance. You get one chance to prove yourself worthy of more than a one hit wonder. This comes in the form of an album with more than five hot songs. Then you get a chance of proving you weren’t just a phase our ears were going through. This comes in the form of another album. Then you get a chance to prove you are worthy of a fanbase that will follow you no matter where you go musically, this comes in the form of a tour and is proven by how many tickets are sold.

They say riding a bike is something you can never forget how to do. You can always pick that bike back up and ride. You rarely get away with this with rapping. Once you get on that bike you have to keep riding. In our well known history of rappers, once you stop, it’s hard as hell to come back. Whatever fans you had at one point might still be there waiting and willing to give you another listen, but the rest of the world is often closeminded when it comes to giving a second try. Lil Wayne not only broke this norm, he came back twice as hard and not doubled, not tripled his fan base, but straight up took the fuck over. When the fuck else does this happen?

I mean, people do come back. But they usually come back and maintain the fans that were already there. I mean it’s clear this dude did way more than that. He’s on top of the world right now. That’s fuckin serious.

When I sit down and think about this, it makes me proud. Not that Lil Wayne is out there giving a fuck that I’m here giving a fuck. But if I do meet him, I won’t be a groupie bitch screaming for him, or trying to take a picture, I’d tell him just that. I am so proud of him for defying industry odds. Living in the “south” for so long has made me a full time southern reppin bitch and I am so proud when I see every motherfucker in New York blastin Weezy outta their ride. It’s like yea bitches! Us New Yorkers are known for our shit not stinking (haha) and for us to be on a penis like that, you have to be hot.

So the next time you Lil Wayne haters (yes I’ve run into a few of them, they do exist!) feel like hating.. sit down and think about what this man has done. Now, after nodding your head and secretly agreeing to what I have said… repeat after me..

“THAT MANS DESERVES CREDIT.”

Great. Now you can go back to hating if you want.

For those who are already riding the Lil Wayne ping ping.. keep riding!

Next Page »